Self Awareness or Self Obsession

On my desk is a binder that reads "Management Development Assessment Report Profile for Doug Rutter."

My company sent me to a pair of Industrial Psychologists in the hope that they would evaluate my "advancement potential" and "professional acumen." A few weeks ago I went to their offices and took a number of cognitive assessments and personality profiles. The results of these tests are contained in this binder. I am assigned to review their findings and journal about what the tests have revealed about myself.

You know, there is a thin border between productive self-analysis and destructive self-obsession. And I must confess that sinful pride is among my most vulnerable areas for temptation. So it is with a small degree of apprehension that I spend any time focusing on me.

But the exercise has produced some God-honoring self-analysis. I am reminded how remarkably blessed I am and what a responsibility the skills and capacities that God has baked into my DNA are. I am reminded that I can be impatient and unconcerned with the emotional needs of others. I am reminded that giftedness is a responsibility not a privilege.

Most of all I am reminded that the only good I can do in the world will not be because of my aptitudes or abilities but it will be the result of my submission to Jesus and the only kingdom I should hope to establish is not my own but is the one He is bringing into the world.

But above all I'm ready to stop thinking about myself...I do that too much naturally...I don't need to do it for homework!

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Location:7th St,Lincoln,United States

There will always be birds...

The Rutter family is engaged in an epic struggle. It is an endless battle between good and evil. There have been causalities on both sides. There have been victories and defeats...but the war continues.

Our enemy has a name: The Blackbirds of Carriage Hills.

Three years ago they invaded. They claimed the trees in our back yard. They "bombed" our deck (and our children).

We placed plastic owls and hung CDs. But they are relentless...I'm not giving up, but I'm coming around to the idea that there will always be birds. We can do things to minimize the impact they will have on our lives...but we simply can't shut down the sky.

You know, there's an odd peace that comes with that acceptance.

It easy for us to allow the small annoyances in our lives to become the central focus of our attention and energy. This robs us from truly living. We must give these issues the attention they deserve, but not a moment more.

I'm not surrendering, but I am choosing to not make the war my reason for living.

Are there birds in your life that you need to spend less time and energy on?

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Location:Stanhope Way,Normal,United States

Crazy Like Everyone Else

Toni and I started a new small group last night.

We had been out of a regular group since my job transition and just getting back to a place of healing where we felt comfortable reengaging in the life of the church.

The group is very diverse. Singles and marrieds...Parents with little ones, with teens and with grown children. Toni had a moment of clarity that. I thought was awesome.

Afterward she said, "it's nice to be reminded that you're not the only crazy person in the world." Whenever we become isolated it's easy to start to imagine that you are the only person dealing with difficult life issues. We imagine that everyone else is well adjusted...living the abundant life without roadblocks, challenges, or disappointments.

Whenever we renege Christian community we are reminded just how irrational these thoughts are. True Christian community encourages, strengthens, celebrates, and mourns together...but it's greatest. Ministry may be to remind us that we are in fact crazy...just like everyone else.

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